Hello downtime. Automation in the lab has it's perks, like short turn around time and plenty-o-breaks! As annoying as it is to run quality control, I'm not going to complain about a 20 min break while assays are being run. I'm going to blog about it :)
Life has been busy (which is nothing new) but instead of the raging river my workload once was it's more of a steady stream now. I don't even need to use a planner anymore - it's gotten that good. For the past 3ish years my life was plotted points on a calendar. Days lived out before I got to live them. It was a sad state of affairs. It took much of the impulsiveness out of daily life and when I would try to take spontaneity back it was often destructive to my obligations. Bastard.
However much I hate sounding like a "planner", I don't think I have a choice in the matter. There is so much stuff I want to do this year and still more that I'm expected to do. I don't think I could manage everything without much paid deliberation. I picked up my cap and gown yesterday (Oh yeah, it's real!) and time suddenly sped up. By the later part of the summer I should be running free across the country if not the globe. It fills me with exuberance to know I'll be with my nearest and dearest, enjoying life without the weight of pending chores.
Graduation to me is analogous to birth. I've been stewing for a while in this academic womb and when I'm finally free of it's chamber, I will be my own individual. Finally, there will be time to think about myself; cater to my needs. Since I was a wee thing I've been faithfully conditioned to be subservient to everyone else. Maybe it's a part of eastern culture or maybe it's just pure BULLSHIT. Getting a degree is my last "duty" to my family. It's been the umbilical cord that's chained me to the floor my whole life. With my parents, the emphasis on education is not an Asian stereotype, but a radical militant belief.
This kind of upbringing makes me so unbearably ambivalent at times, I'm not sure wtf I should do about it. Is there anything that can be done to remedy this? If there is, give it to me doctor, stick it in my vein and pump it to my heart STAT. Life sucks, yeah - whatever. No one cares. Things are about to change anyways so I'm not sure why I'm being such a bitch. As soon as my wings dry, I'm booking. Gotta live life, break rules, and maybe even feel things. I guess I'll just sit in the sun until take off.
The Skinny
- Jie Hua
- Detroit, Mi
- I'm in the process. I'd like to expand on that, but it's in the process. I go about my business under the guidance of gut-feelings and universal street signs. I see myself as a very quiet person. Not because I have little to say, only that my abundant thoughts know not where to start. As a child I fantasized about looking through a telescope to give me truth about the world. It amuses me now that what I am doing is looking down a microscope in an effort to reevaluate my holistic position. I am a loner, a drifter, a dreamer.
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