I'm a crazy girl. In my skull it's a chaotic mess of fantasy and apprehension. Is it so bad that I've rewired the pleasure center of my brain to only be satisfied by the things I know I shouldn't have? Le sigh... What's a girl like me to do? They tell me no. Tell me to come out now. Tell me to act proper when there is no fun in that. There's no security outside my cozy little hole. I dug a ditch for one, dammit.
Sometimes I get angry at the whole world and feel like only a fist fight could fix it. Come on! With all your fancy speech and fake smile, I'll bust you in the mouth. That sick slimy grin of a sycophant. It makes me want to spit. I'm not inherently this way, just some nights I get this energy I carried home from the day. Can't shake it or break it, clings to me like used fly paper on the train of the most charming gown.
I have it in me to be an atrocious mademoiselle. Don't think for a second these chains could contain. I'm a reforming tyrant, and the last thing I need is for someone to tempt me. But for the greater good, I lock away the beast in me until it's safe to be around people again. Somedays it's too much for me to speak to them, to hear them, to look upon the ugly faces they wear. Mankind is one ugly collection of creatures. I've seen them in their truest form and it causes bile to rise up my throat, gurgling my words. I have no words for them. I will retreat to the comforts of my own mind and forget as best I can the selfishly sinful ways we treat each other.
I am not part of this, I'm an outsider looking in. I refuse to be part of your world.
The Skinny
- Jie Hua
- Detroit, Mi
- I'm in the process. I'd like to expand on that, but it's in the process. I go about my business under the guidance of gut-feelings and universal street signs. I see myself as a very quiet person. Not because I have little to say, only that my abundant thoughts know not where to start. As a child I fantasized about looking through a telescope to give me truth about the world. It amuses me now that what I am doing is looking down a microscope in an effort to reevaluate my holistic position. I am a loner, a drifter, a dreamer.
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