What the cat dragged in

Wish I wasn't so good at making bad choices, would save me a whole lot of trouble. Making bad choices is like eating a gallon of ice cream. You know you'll regret it before, during, and even after consumption. Still, you find yourself reaching for it, can't stop your self from thinking about it. Scolding yourself while you're enjoying it. Maybe even moaning in the satisfaction of finally getting it. In that moment you wonder why you ever thought it was a good decision to go cold turkey. That is until realization bitches slaps you in the face upon it's departure. That, ladies and gents, is what makes my choices so damn poor. I know better but I never can get myself to act any better! What is it with pleasures of the guiltiest kind that are so irresistible? There must be some kind of fun I'm getting out of breaking rules I've made for myself. Must be. I can't be that illogical.

Fuck, I'm doomed.

A thing About Something.

Just real quick, I'm going to bring us all up to pace. Started my first week in chemistry. It's been brutal. I've been quarantined in this corner of the lab where they do all the special chemistry test. The focus has been on SPEs (serum protein electrophoresis) and I must admit, my focus has been elsewhere. I need a coach. Someone to throw water in my face, hand me a towel, and bark at me to get back in there. Ding ding.
So about SPE, here is what I've gathered while operating on three hours of sleep. The principle of electrophoresis is just running a electrical current through this gel and setting up this perfectly charged environment for your specimen. Proteins in your blood, piss, and other leaky fluids (that carry a negative charge) are dragged across a gel they're placed on. The amount and kind of proteins found are of a diagnostic value, they can tell you how sick you are, how sick you might get, and why you're sick.



Step two: stain it with dye to visualize it. The type of proteins are broken down into 5 parts: albumin, alpha1, alpha2, beta, and gamma. The quantity of proteins are reflected in the width of the band (those areas that have stained darker). Final step, run it on a fancy densitometer and do some data crunching. Looking at this hot mess, you can see normal proteins present, characteristic abnormal proteins, and the quantity.



Take a look at each blip, each bump. By looking at the waviness of each peak you can determine wtf is wrong with the person. Is their gamma region out of wack? It could be multiple myeloma. A decreased albumin shows inflammation, look at the alpha1/alpha2 areas to distinguish between acute or chronic inflammatory states. Or maybe it could be an autoimmune disease... mhhmmmmm, this requires further investigation!

I am done with SPE today, tomorrow I start immunofixation! It's one step further than SPE. This is when you know your bands got a major malfunction and it's time to dig deeper. What kinda antibody could it be? IgA, IgG, even 'effin IgM?! haha, I'm so dramatic.

Tea for Two

I shit this out the other side of my brain

My Sanctuary

Microns

(Cryostat: slices and dices)

Sections of rat brains and spinal cord I sectioned

Electrophoresis. Electric current drags, in this case Candida prolepsis, DNA across the gel.

Lobby of the Lande building

Places where my days are spent, saturated in science. I've been settling into Henry Ford Hospital quite nicely, getting the hang of things quickly, and making friends while doing it. I'm going to credit my superior people skills, they've saved me hundreds already. I see possibilities around every corner and in every encounter. I feed off the energy in that place. It's my launching pad and I'm counting down.

Akins's lab is a cozy place for me. For reasons I fail to understand, I find refuge in research labs. Maybe it has to do with the fact I am unreachable when I retreat into those places. I emerge at my own free will or whenever the task at hand is complete. Often, the projected time of completion gets delayed which keeps me against my wishes, but it brings out something else in me. It makes me work harder, stay longer, be stronger. Constantly challenging my mental and physical limits. Fueling me to make bridges where synapses were once absent (and fucking crossing them!)

Although in ways this fluffs my peacock feathers in full display, some part of me wonders (quietly) if I'm just fooling myself. One hand pulls away the curtain while the other is putting on the charade and I ... well, I just sit there astonished. Suppose it's right, even wise, to chart the territory of your personal limitations.