I'd like to take my final bow and dip out on this shit show. Let the curtains fall and the stage give way to the edge of a cliff. Spread my arms wide, curtsy to the life I've lived, and jump. Feel the current of memories passing me like credits as I fall towards my absolution until the reel cuts out and the movie ends there. It'd be great if the movie could end here, since the audience is no longer watching.
It's the stupid life I've lived. It's the way I'll never forgive, all the times I made counterfeit decisions. Every time I not only put myself in the red, but thrust my mortality into the perilous inferno. Drawn to the fire like an insipid moth, gorged by a ravenous flame. Nothing human about me, not even a whisper of cognition.
I'd like to amputate what's inside of me. The removal of infectious waste, cauterizing each step of the way. I'd like to hollow out my mortal being, to resemble the make up of my psychology. It's sad really, the way my reflection distorts the image of my character. Still, the fun house mirror has it's limitations when it comes to accuracy. So wether I've been stretched or twisted, it's still me. The clown. The sad fucking clown.
The Skinny
- Jie Hua
- Detroit, Mi
- I'm in the process. I'd like to expand on that, but it's in the process. I go about my business under the guidance of gut-feelings and universal street signs. I see myself as a very quiet person. Not because I have little to say, only that my abundant thoughts know not where to start. As a child I fantasized about looking through a telescope to give me truth about the world. It amuses me now that what I am doing is looking down a microscope in an effort to reevaluate my holistic position. I am a loner, a drifter, a dreamer.
