Just like that I find myself in the "working" world. I've arrived at this distant location, hours away from my usual perspective. It seems like nothing has actually changed, since I've always been working. The minute I turned thirteen I found myself trapped in my uncle's dingy kitchen, working phones and counter at a little restaurant in a shitty neighborhood. I experienced my first armed robbery there at the age of three. So fitting I return at thirteen, this time risking my social life. Alas, I've always known steady work and made it habit to hold down at least one if not multiple jobs at once. By now, I get this strange sensation when I don't have imminent work pressing down on me.
I'm still trying to discern the pivotal modification that occurred when I became a citizen of the "working" world, since people keep welcoming me to it like I've never been. Their reactions make me feel like a tourist, a foreigner to this place. Like I should be walking around with that absent starstruck glaze in my eyes while in this region of employer paid health and dental. A fertile place for your 401k to grow strong and healthy. The land of plenty, plenty of retirement benefit options. Just a few details in the smoke, really. These seemingly minor alterations in the fine print of my life make the biggest difference. Man, I finally get that coveted 401k and does it make me feel any different?
In fantasy it always feels different to finally get what you've wanted. In fantasy, the picture pivots around you, the only anchor in fantasy. Building dreams through grains of sand, alterations easily made and without trouble. Suppose that's where the trouble lies, a foundation laid in loose sand holds no ground. So that any direction our will takes, keeps us relatively in one place. The true cornerstone is manufactured in reality, and it's got a decent warranty.
Reluctantly, I must look for better real estate in real life, since the commute from fantasy land to the working world is brutal during rush hour. I have a really cozy little place in fantasy land. It's fully furnished with hard wood floors and an open kitchen. It's perfect for little ole me and it's got those huge floor to ceiling windows I'm absolutely in love with. Still, I think I'm overdue for a change in scenery. This naturalization in the great union of "the working world" has me thinking assimilation is unavoidable.
The Skinny
- Jie Hua
- Detroit, Mi
- I'm in the process. I'd like to expand on that, but it's in the process. I go about my business under the guidance of gut-feelings and universal street signs. I see myself as a very quiet person. Not because I have little to say, only that my abundant thoughts know not where to start. As a child I fantasized about looking through a telescope to give me truth about the world. It amuses me now that what I am doing is looking down a microscope in an effort to reevaluate my holistic position. I am a loner, a drifter, a dreamer.
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